all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
