Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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