is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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