Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
