I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
