why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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