She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
