i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
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if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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