worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
