Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
last night I used snow as a chaser
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
