i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
