you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
