I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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