it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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