its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
