My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
