My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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