Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
