The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
