Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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