i barfeds in our rink
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
