I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
