She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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