I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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