why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
