Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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