theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
