I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
