were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
