so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Boobs speak an international language.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize