Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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