he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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