i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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