Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
