so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
