4 words: hood of his car
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
