Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
