doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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