My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
