how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
