Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
