i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
