ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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