the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
