Swine flu is the new snow day.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
BRING THE BAGELS
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
