I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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