I don't think brook has ever known best
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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