my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
