I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
