He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
