Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
