the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize