I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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