im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I believe in your delicious
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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