GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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