You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
