who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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