He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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